Malaprops

In my other life I am a teacher at a local community college. Over the years, I've collected some very "interesting" excerpts from student writing. Once a week I'll be sharing some of the "best."

Here's a sample:

Analyzing a James Joyce short story, a student wrote:

“Eveline is caught between a rock and a hard ball.”

Just slightly more painful than between a pebble and a softball.

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A student explained the ending of Hamlet this way:

“But just before Hamlet dies, Fortinbras arrives and Hamlet  thrones him King of Denmark.”

The ceremony is akin to royal musical chairs.

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In an attempt to critique a poem, a student explained that:

“These were not your normal six to eight line sonnets.”

I find six-line sonnets banal and eight-line sonnets somewhat stifling.

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Of the symbolic import of dust in Joyce’s “Eveline” a student wrote:

“Dust is mentioned so often in my mind, because it represents an old life…”

Gotta wash that dust right out of your mind!

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Another fascinating observation:

“Eveline starts realizing that she did make a promise to upload the family before she dies.”

Obviously to a far, far better place.

Do you have some interesting malaprops or other writing faux pas? Please send them along to me at gearydanihy@aol.com. I'll be happy to post them and, of course, give credit where credit is due.